PRAISING YOUR CHILD

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

There may be some of you that read the title I put on up here and you squirmed in your seat and said, "Oh, no, not another praise your child sermon when what today's kids really need is a big smack on their behind." 

So, nope, I'm not writing about patting them on the back and letting our kids do whatever they want, and nope, I am not saying we look the other way when they talk down to us, disrespecting and living like it's ok to grow up without manners and boundaries.

I am writing about praising your child for the right reason.

We should praise our kids when we know that we've spoken to them about something, that they keep forgetting to do or just won't do correctly,  at least one hundred and ten times and then suddenly, angelic voices fill the room and we find them doing the unexpected. In this piece I want to recognize my son, Jacob. I mean, I walk in and he'd doing homework. Wait. You didn't get that. I should be writing capitals all over the place, with sound effects like in the movie, "The Mask" with Jim Carey. My son is giving his all not just for football, but also classwork. 

It' s not easy getting our children to put their one hundred percent into hours of homework. Today's standards in school makes many kids feel as if they've failed way before high school has even begun. The way coaches treat their players it seems they've already determined the success story with being the kid who evens the team out. This world is full of messages to discourage and make you feel small.

But, as I walk in and see him doing great things, I praise him for remembering our talks. I praise him by saying, "I love to see what you're doing with your school work." I recognize that his bedroom looks pretty cool and that he has made an attempt to show me that he is taking better care of his responsibilities, especially in regards to the Type 1 Diabetes. 

I celebrate my son, as I hope you will do with your child as well, because I have to ask multiple times, "Do you have your homework? Do you have your glucose bag? Do you have your pump on? Did you check your sugar?" While all he may be hearing is, "Waaa Waaa Waaa Waaa" So, yes, I am clapping my hands and saying, "Whoo Hoo!" 

It's great to see him immersed in a math that I have no idea what the heck he's doing. And, oh my goodness, I must confess I feel such a relief when I ask him, "Hey, buddy, how's it going? Do you need my help with the homework?" (And inside I am like, NOOOOO, I don't know how to do this one!!!!!) Then, he says, "No, mom, thanks, I got this!" and I'm all like, "OK, sweetie, cause you know if you need my help, I'm right here for you, just let me know." But, I walk away and inside I am dancing and screaming, "YES!!!! He can do this on his own." But, then, I go and begin a google search on what he's doing for the moment of "just in case" he comes with a question. I will be like, "Oh sure, yes, let's sit down and look at it."

And, let me tell you, that's when faith really kicks in because if I didn't believe in miracles before, I will pray my heart out for one right then and there.

So, I'm proud of you my child. I am happy you are doing well and that you have remembered some of the things I have asked of you because they will bring you great success and victory. Place the Lord above all things in your life and He will always guide and bless you in all you do. I love you.

And, I pray, you will share with your child as well.

NOT ABANDONED

I not only take the time to write what's on my mind, I also take the time to read what other people have written. In reading what others share, I've come to read some of the most heartbreaking pieces. There are countless of things written about depression and many more on how people dealing with Type 1 Diabetes, and/or other sicknesses or physical conditions. My heart goes out to them because I have lived through many of the things they are living with daily, and even if I don't physically have those ailments, those I love and care for daily, are living with the reality of it all.

The one theme that seems to come out in most, if not all the writing, is how people and the young ones feel hopeless and abandoned. Their hearts share their pain, their burdens and their despair. You feel their anger, their cry and see their fists, closed and lifted up to heaven, blaming God.

Many times, I too, wondered where was my faith. I wanted to know why and how? I thought living right and doing right got me the good deal on life, but it's not that way. We live in a world that has lashed out against God and thus, has invited wickedness in as they pushed God out. We live in a contaminated planet that has carelessly dedicated itself to self destruction. It's not that God is powerless or doesn't care. Everything around us seems to be in self destruction mode and instead of seeking God's mercy, we become bitter. Instead of surrendering to His will and wait on His healing, we surrender to anger, to silence, to fading away in our pain.

You may feel abandoned in your depression and in your pain. You may feel abandoned each time you have to pierce your skin again and again to give yourself insulin. You may feel forsaken, each time you place that Asthma pump into your mouth and take deep breaths hoping your lungs accept the medication and open up your airways. You may feel forgotten and unloved, when sadness, loneliness and those dark moments cover you like a net and you can't break free.

My friend, I can tell you that in my discomfort, and through what I see daily, I refuse to believe God has abandoned me. I refuse to believe my son and my brothers, or anyone in my family that is sick, has been abandoned, forsaken and forgotten.

My son, in Jesus name, is part of God's healing plan. My brothers, my nephew, my mom, my daughter, my friends, you, you and you, we are all in the heart of God to receive our healing! I am looking into scriptures that remind me of God's promises. I'm learning to pray more and believe that what we bind on earth is bound in heaven and what we loosen on earth is loosed in heaven. I am learning to proclaim, "By His Stripes we were healed!" I am holding on to everything in the Bible about healing as true and real for my son and everyone connected to me.

CELEBRATING MY SON, JACOB!

September 21, 2002.

A great day to be born like so many others. God blessed me with one more child. He gave me a warrior that has a faith to trust in the Lord. God has given me a child that is full of love and laughter. God has blessed me with a child that has met life and death in the face and continued to press on when life gets hard. Tonight I remember waiting in the hospital for the doctor to take me away into surgery so that my son could be brought forth into the world. 

At 3 in the morning, my precious son, already fighting for his life, was led away into the ICU to be taken care of. Once more, as it was not allowed with my previous two children, I was not allowed to hold him or kiss him. Those images we see in movies were not made true for me. As he was taken away, after being given a quick glimpse of my baby boy, my heart disappeared into prayer, a reminder to God that he had promised to keep His Word and fulfill it in my life. I had no strength to cry so I just meditated on what was left of my waking moments, meditated on God's presence and released the child I could not run to in the hands of the One who could be by his side from his first breath.

 I am in awe of what an amazing young man, my son has become. Lord, I thank you for my son. Although at times I have asked you why and why again, I choose to thank you for his life. I thank you for his courage and his never ending strength. I thank you for his ability to endure through hardships. I praise you for his life and for his future! 

Lord, I thank you that my son has his inheritance in you. I thank you that his name is not Type One Diabetes, but Healed, Redeemed, Restored and Victorious. Lord, I praise you because you make all things new and even when my eyes do not see what you are doing in him, in his body and in his heart, your hand is at work in him, doing great and mightily on his behalf.

There is nothing impossible with or for God. Every promise that is written in God's word is written upon my son, Jacob. God has already destined his success and his ability to soar high above the storms that may come. I love my son and am so proud of him. My football player, my joker always putting his arms around me, hugging me, loving me and telling me, "Mom, I love you!" What gift could be more precious than than? There is nothing more perfect than the gift of a child from the Lord and I am blessed!

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GOING AWAY TO CAMP

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Planning.
Preparing.
Almost ready.
No.
Lord, I don't feel he's ready, but I'm letting go.
"Letting go?" I feel the Lord is asking.
And I reply.
"I'm going to trust You. I'm laying my son before You, in Your hands.
No, Lord, not just in Your hands but in Your embrace.
Can you keep him close to Your heart?"

Surrender.
Tonight I finish packing my son's belongings.
He'll head out to Football Camp first thing tomorrow morning.
Most kids just pack their clothes, toiletries and bedding.
Jacob's bags will be different.
He'll have a lot of extra stuff.
Diabetes supplies by the dozen, for at least two weeks, although he'll be gone for one.
Extra of everything, from Insulin to syringes and test strips.
Snacks. I'll make sure he has snacks, juices, and those small chewables for when his sugar drops.

Intense.
Jacob's workout is intense.
I watched him yesterday running and jogging and then running again, for at least ten minutes.
The exercises are long, repetitive and at times so hard.
He presses through.
His sugar may drop and he'll step away from his team to take care of it but then he immediately returns when he's allowed to rejoin his teammates. He becomes anxious having to wait it off until his sugar is at a good number, like he calls it.

Thinking.
I am here with a million thoughts in my mind and I wish, if just for a moment, that things were so different. He has so many dreams and I think his Coaches are afraid he can't make it as an athlete. Leagues focus on selecting their main players and their whole year centers around them. I'm so glad that the Lord God is not that way. He doesn't make anyone more special or more valuable than others. He reaches for all. He gives to all. God celebrates our achievements and joins with us as we dream.

Tonight I will finish packing but as I pack, I will pray a little more than I prayed before.

"You are not alone."
Did you hear that, Jacob? I spoke it as I packed and the words fell upon your clothes.
"God is there with you."
Do you know that, Jacob? I'm speaking it into your life although you're in another room.

I will trust in the One who made you.
(But Type One Diabetes is here.)
No, my son, He made you perfect. 

Remember all that we have spoken, all that I've tried to teach you and all that you say you know. 
You can do this. You will have fun. You will be alright.

Lord,
before he was my son, he was yours.
Before I knew his hurts, You had promised to take care of every tear.
Lord,
Before I attempted to let go and trust completely in You,
You had already shown me to trust because You also surrendered Your Son, for me, for Jacob.

Holy Spirit,
Never leave his side.
Be the voice that awakens him when needed through the night,
Be the Guide that makes him search for help and direction,
Be the Help if he doesn't know what to do.

The Football player in the family is ready.
He is motivated, psyched up, pumped up and ready to fly.
"Go, Jacob! Run! Soar! Fly!"

Type One Diabetes I grant you permission to pass away into the sea of forgetfulness, permanently. I give you permission to fall upon the ground like a dead man so that you can be buried and gone. I remind you that Jesus Christ not only died on the cross for our sins, but also for every sickness, for every fear, every disease and every physical and emotional complication this world may bring our way. I speak into my son's body and remind it to believe in God's promises, to hold on to God's blessings and to embrace God's provision. I speak into my son's life and speak Life, Strength, Courage, Boldness, Healing, Empowerment, Ability, Discernment and Success!

Soar, my son. Do what you're good at. Succeed. Excel. Triumph on that field.
I celebrate your victories and I rejoice with you.
Thank you, Lord.
Thank you that you are my Confidence and Hope.
You keep my head up when it wants to fall down.
You keep me going forward when my spirit is faint.
I bless and praise Your name.
I know You will be with my son, In Jesus Name, I place all my hope and trust in You. Amen.

PRAYER FOR OUR CHILDREN

Dear Lord,

I come before you today, and while so many other parents are focussed on other important things, I chose to believe that praying for my son, praying for my children outweighs everything else.

Lord, my son needs you. You are his healer. You restore and renew- yes, make all things new. You are his deliverer and the one that gives him victory. 

Dear God, my children need you. You know the requests of their hearts. You know their moments of feeling anxious and sad. You understand their needs and their wants. Lord, who else can I surrender my children to, but to you?

You are the God of mercy and compassion, the God who sees and hears our prayers.
Restore what the enemy has stolen- Return it a hundred times over according to your promises.
Restore health where it is failing, where it is being a burden, and where it creates a daily struggle. No child should know sickness or disease or any condition that keeps their mind on how to prevent or manage the condition instead of how to rollerskate better or be a better football player. 

The devil is a liar!

He has no place and no authority in the lives of my children.
He has no voice and my children's ears and hearts will not entertain his message, his voice and his lies. Cover my kids under your mighty shadow. Let them always find refuge in Your Presence.

Guide them and help them to make great choices, not just good ones, but the best ones. Remove doubt and fear. The spirit of  fear has no place in their conversations or thoughts. Give them peace. Lead their steps. Show up where they are and show them the path that leads to you. Let them always see you when they make the wrong choices and let them always know that in the midst of their mistakes, they can always run to you. You forgive. Let them know your loving kindness.

Show yourself strong and powerful in their midst. Let their faith be ignited in this ever compromising and changing world. Let their hope in you be strengthened and made sure. Let their understanding of Scripture be directed from your heart. Holy Spirit, speak to them as they go to work or school, as they wait for the train or sleep. Be with them even as they rest.

Be their shield and their protector. Hide them in times of trouble. Make a way of escape when there is none. Show yourself strong and let your Word come alive in their hearts. 

Give them a hunger and thirst for your Word, for your presence, and for righteousness.

This is my prayer, Lord. I ask you to have your way in my children in Jesus precious name. Amen.

Angeline M Duran Santiago

WHEN DOES IT END?

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

As I write these words, and most likely sound like I'm venting, I am completely aware that there are other families right now, going through much painful situations. I also acknowledge, that while my son has had one of his worst weeks, there are children in the hospital and there are families that right now sit or stand by a loved one's bedside, listening to tragic news and waiting. Some wait for their loved one to get better, and others embrace to comfort one another's pain at receiving the most difficult news.

This week, I truly wondered if it was even worth going to work. No matter what I've done, or anyone at home did, to help my son's physical condition improve, it seemed he was better for a few minutes and then back to some kind of virus by the night time. I have even wondered if this apartment has something to do with him feeling so sick all the time. I take him to the doctor and they'll say, "It's a viral infection. Take him home for two days. Liquids, Motrin and he will be better soon." But, I feel like my son has had some kind of Viral infection all year. I think he wins the prize this year for most absences and being picked up from school. He went in to take the state exams and couldn't even complete it. 

So, yes, to some degree I am frustrated and I guess we have the permission to get upset. Have I prayed enough? Did I pray correctly? As a parent, that is a believer, all these thoughts come into our minds. What can I do differently? Have I not encouraged him enough? Have I taught him to prevail, push through and never give up even when it gets hard? 

Today, at work, I have questioned my ways as a parent. I have taken a memory walk through my days as a mom and I've seen the times I think I've done well, (or at least I hope so), to so many times when I wish I could have done things differently, better, or do them over. Oh, that do over might be so true for so many parents. I know I can't go back in time, but I ask the Lord to help me be the best my kids can have in a parent each day. Still, I want to see a change in my son. Is this what it will always be like with Type 1 Diabetes? 

My thoughts have taken me to look at Diabetes camps. Maybe instead of Football, he needs to go away and be with other kids like him and learn what I can't get him to learn? I looked at scholarships and ways certain groups fund and help families send their child to Diabetic camps. This is something I will research more and hopefully he is now ready to go, learn and receive what he needs.

So, when does it end?

The waiting.....

I thought of erasing every word on this page and starting all over again. Then, I realized that sometimes I only have this page to pour out what I feel and think.  So, I'm waiting to see the change in my son's health, his life, and as I wait I hear my mom saying, "Angie, remember, they that wait on the Lord, like the eagle, remember the eagle, remember the wings, new strength, soaring up."

As I write, I am reminded that my wait is not in vain. I believe God will do awesome things in my son's body. I will see it! I will give God all the glory and praise from today, until my last days.

I guess, it ends....well, we never know, right?
But, for right now, Lord, I can't complain because I can't even begin to feel what my son feels. I pray you meet his needs, be His Champion and raise him up to feel great and do great things in his life. Lord, lead me to a better doctor, to better medical care, to whatever my son needs, lead me. Guide me to see his needs and why or how he just doesn't get better. Lead me in helping him stay in school. Strengthen and heal my son in Jesus name. Lord, touch my son's body. Restore every organ in his body that refuses to work the way it should. Renew every area in his body and every organ in his body that needs to be made new. Lord, give us as a family the wisdom we need to be smarter, wiser, better listeners, stronger in our faith, and better at looking for ways to help my son. Provide for all his needs, Lord. I believe!
Thank you, Lord. Amen.

I TOLD YOU, JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!

 By Angeline M Duran Santiago

It's been a long wait, right? For some of you, you're still waiting. You're still at someone's bedside, praying and waiting.
For some of you, you're still waiting on your miracle.
For some, the breakthrough is almost there.
For others, you are getting ready to go through the biggest moment ever as you put your faith in focus and share before the world.
And, for others, the worst has passed. You are thanking the Lord for what He has done, but you still have your armor on because for us who walk by faith and not by sight, our battle is rarely over, right?

So, I found some verses I thought you could use as you either come to the close of your dark night, get ready to rejoice in God's blessings, or are still on your knees crying out to God.

 

Hear the Lord whispering into your heart......

 God will never back down on His Word.

God is not looking to mess up and look bad when He has spoken

and made a promise into your life. He will keep His Word.

Maybe you're like me, sickness constantly showing up with their luggage and back packs, like it's Thanksgiving and it's here for dinner. God has given us the Scriptures to believe in God's power to restore us and set us free from all sickness. Command it to go!

PEACE, BE STILL

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Last night, once more, tsunami waves rose high and splashed like iron fists upon my son. Never ending waves of sickness visited as if a party invitation was sent out to come and harass my child. The storm, it came, and it wouldn't go away. 

I prayed.
I wrote about it to get others to pray with me.
I spoke to the Lord.
At one point I though about returning to the hospital, and then,
"PEACE, BE STILL."
In the midst of the noise, my anxious heart, and seeing him the way he was, "PEACE, BE STILL."

Lord, how?
How do I claim this peace?
How do I stand still when this chaos around me consumes everything I love?
I realize that the moment I begin to question and take my eyes off of God's Word, I begin to sink and sink quickly.

You and I, we see these waves rise up against us in different ways, not just sickness and desperation. You and I see the waves rise and feel that we're going to go under and not be able to come up and out, especially someone like me that doesn't know how to swim. But, here I was, looking at the situation, listening to the dilemma, and God had already said, "Peace."
And God had said, "Be still."

So, I decided to get out of the boat in the midst of the storms last night and attempt my try at walking on water, walking on stormy waters, walking upon the very waves that tormented and threatened me and my family. I stepped out in faith and chose to put my eyes, not on my child's situation, or my heart's fears, but to look straight into God's eyes and keep my focus there. For with my eyes on His promises, I cannot fall, I will not sink, I will not experience defeat.

Morning has come and I cannot go to work without saying, "My son is resting in bed and he is so much better!" I won't be sending him off to school to take exams today because I know he's gone through a lot. But, when he goes, I know he will do well because God has completely restored him. Prayer is telling God we're not only believing but choosing to trust Him even when we feel the buffeting and the sting of the crashing waves upon our skin. Prayer is our conversation of faith that says, "My faith is more than wearing a cross around my neck and a T-Shirt that says Jesus saves." Prayer is my conversation with a true, a real and an awesome God that keeps his word.

Peace, Be still.
This is what the Lord says to you also.
You're hurting. You're desperate. Your battle is real and you bare the scars to prove it.
Peace. Grab hold of the Peace God speaks into your life and your circumstances right now.
God speaks Peace into your body, into your mind and into your room.
God speaks peace into your nervous system, your blood stream, your confusion and your depression. God speaks PEACE to your heart, as you wait in the hospital room, pray in your bedroom, pray on the train, in the bus, or in your car.

Lord, we walk forward knowing your peace is our hope and our strength on this day and always.
Thank you Lord. We love you always. Amen.

THE DARKER THE NIGHT

By Angeline M Duran Santiago


There is no cure for Type 1 Diabetes. God is able to heal. I believe it. God will strengthen us as we wait on him to provide a cure, or remove it by His power and grace, completely.

Tonight, as the past few nights, my daughter and I have watched my son continue to vomit and go through the motions of what doctors say is just a virus. I guess they're right, but I am bothered by the high sugars that just don't go down, even when I continue to monitor his numbers and provide the precise amount of insulin. 

 

Tonight, I am tired. I won't lie to you- I am frustrated, somewhat angry, and overwhelmed. Tomorrow, students take the NY State exams, and while some parents have already prepared their children with hugs, kisses, and sent them to sleep a little early, I am here waiting, and debating if I should return to the Emergency Room. The doctors last night said if he started to throw up again and the glucose rose again, most likely, if there was no change, I should think about returning him to the ER. So, what do I do, Lord?

Am I wrong to wait another half hour? Have I prayed and waited enough or is it I've resigned to just wait and see. I don't want to just sit on the sidelines and wait. I believe God has given us wisdom to make the right choice. But, Lord, I hate to see how he gets poked for blood and how they never find the vein. Six times they attempted to find the right vein. Three different nurses. Only twice did they succeed. He never complained. He just held his breath, took deep breaths and at times just laughed out loud saying, "Oh, my God."

The darker the night, the darker your moment,
The more God's Light and presence shines your way.

 I've wondered at times why God didn't create us so that we could take over the pain and the sickness our children carry. Lord, I'd gladly surrender every part of my being to carry every physical and emotional pain and burden for my children, but you didn't make it that way, did you? Here I am wishing I could take it all away and all I can do is pray, wait on You, Lord. 

Your Word says that if I wait upon you, my strength will be renewed. So, I wait for Jacob's physical strength to be renewed, that he may mount up on wings like the eagle and soar, be strong and be able to wake up feeling brand new.

The darker the night, the weaker my faith gets,
Your love is brighter, Your Light shines my way!

Your Word says to ask and I shall receive. I ask for You to come into my home, tonight, Lord, and lay your powerful hand, compassionate and merciful hand, hands of healing upon my son and remove every evidence of sickness and infection.

Your Word says that Jesus carried every infirmity, disease and all my burdens. I write and believe in my heart that YOU have carried every ache, every pain and discomfort, everything that doesn't belong in Jacob's body and that in Jesus Name, my son is recovering and receiving health.

Your Word says that if I cast my cares and burdens upon you, I shall have rest. I cast my son's worries, his physical problems, his burdens and mine, all into your huge, heavenly hands, because he needs rest, my daughter needs rest, and I need rest. Lord, no more breaking night for us. All we have, Lord, I place before you. Visit our home tonight.

The darker the night, the brighter your love,
The darker the night, the more I wait on You. 

As I share tonight, I wonder, and recognize, I am not the only parent with a sick child. I am most definitely not the only person with a burden, tired or watching their child push through. If you find yourself like me, all I can tell you is that you will have to make the decision to believe once more, or for the first time, that God can and will deliver your child and your family from this sickness. God can and He will make a way. His promises can be trusted for I have seen Him work in our lives so many times. Pray, cry out to the Lord, seek the promises in scriptures, and speak your heart out to the Lord. Cast all your cares, your anxiety, your worries and your heartache before his throne and expect deliverance, expect a change, and expect God to show up. 

I am waiting. I am believing. I am in expectation that the Lord will do mightily on behalf of my son. There is nothing else I can do. The doctors cannot do anything. There is no medicine for a virus. There is no pill to cure Diabetes. But, there is a God that says, even in the midst of this sickness, remember I created your child and I will make all things new. This is the hope I hold on to and I pray you don't despair or give up, trust Him.

 The darker the night, the more His Light shines.
You may be breaking one more night, but call out to the Lord. Yes, it is hard to be up at night when your body wants the pillows and your comfy bed. But, tonight, as dark as it seems here and where you are, God's Light shines brighter than the moon and the stars. His presence is brighter than that the lights left outside to light the sidewalks or the streets. The darker the night, the more I know God's blessings are on their way, greater and stronger than ever before.

FLOOD DAMAGE

Yesterday, I had so many thoughts in my mind in regards to what I had just seen. We talk about the effects of a flood, but sometimes, it's not until we are physically present to see, hear and sense what has taken place and still lingers, to truly understand what has just taken place.

I sit here, thinking and writing....you see, the whole phrase, "We just got flooded out." hasn't quiet left my mind since yesterday. I had heard about the flood and the damage it had caused, but yesterday, I walked through the hallways and saw all the damaged furniture, I smelled the dampness that loudly said, "I did it! Yup, it was me! I wiped them all out!" I saw the walls, ripped away leaving only metal frames. I saw the equipment, computers, desks, and well, everything, damaged and gone. That's where it all clicked in, though.

It was in seeing people working together to clean up and see what they could find to clean and restore or use again that the visual began to work a message in my heart. It was there, in the smelly, damp aftermath, that I said, "Well, I guess we have no other choice but to start anew. God does have a way of doing things."

It was there that I saw that even in a negative situation, God was answering prayer. God was still in control, even through the flood, through the storm, through the loss of everything, He was present, releasing a Word of Hope, a Word that promised a new beginning.

Isn't that how it is? God will have to sometimes allow the flood to come to see if we'll hide in the Ark of His protection and allow Him to make all things new. All things new.

That's what I long for. 
I don't just long for all things new in this place where they have lost everything. In my heart, I was praying for a way to help them see they needed change, to work together to clean up house, to open up to receiving what I had to give them, and it just seemed like it was going to be so difficult. But, here they were, the very people that only a few weeks ago seemed to not want to hear or see me, now they were allowing me to clean up and be part of their recovery efforts. 

I can't explain it to you, but in the midst of the chaos, I felt joy. I felt peace. I felt God saying, "It's my way of giving you a brand new start."

So, of course, I can't just leave it all to my life on the outside, I always believe God allows all things as a lesson for me on the inside. 

Flood damage comes in all kinds of ways. Today, or at least for the past few days, the flood seems to be in my home, hitting hard. It's like one thing after the other, but most importantly, it seems my youngest keeps getting the worst of it. He's sick again and for a T1D, even if he hasn't eaten, the blood glucose can still keep soaring. Many medicines make the sugars go up. A fever or even fighting a cold can make his need for insulin be greater than on regular days.

I confess, I'm tired and I don't know what to do sometimes. I feel worn out, frustrated, and soaked in the flood that has come crashing down upon me and my home. I don't know how to clean up and lead this family to where we can begin to experience, "all things new". 

The truth is, I don't have a choice in the matter because, just as yesterday's team had no choice but to assess the damage, clean up and get things back to working order, I have to do the same. I have to get it together, regardless of how I feel or what I don't feel. God is making all things new. It is a new season, regardless of what I see going wrong.

The flood has taken over and what am I going to do about it? Do I sit around and mope, cry, throw a tantrum, or do I put on my rubber boots and begin the clean up, starting on aisle 4, no, I mean, the living room or the kitchen? The clean up starts in my heart. It begins in my mind. It is initiated in my spirit as I allow God to guide me through the hard times. 

Clean up begins as I believe for the promises of God to take me to a new place, not only spiritually, but physically. I cannot stop believing for my son's healing. I cannot stop believing for prosperity and joy in my home. I cannot. I have no other choice and neither do you.

What does the flood in your life look like?
Is it sickness?
Is it financial hardship?
Is it a battle in your home where the family has days where they all go at each other for no reason?
Do you feel darkness and all principalities have unleashed their worst upon you?
Do you regret your choices and can't seem to stop blaming your current situation because of your past?

Are you stuck and you want to run but the flood has overtaken you and you don't know what to do?

It's time to not only build an Ark to dwell in as the flood has it's way, and until God allows us to come out of the Ark to start our new life in the new work He is placing before us, but I also think of the Ark of the Covenant. Just as God made promises to Noah, and sealed with the rainbow, the Ark of the Covenant would later resemble again, God keeping His promises and providing for His people, through the hardships they would face.

So, the flood has come. Without a doubt, I may even have the damp smell on me. Yet, as I sign off, I want to declare for myself and for you that God is making all things new! Regardless of how, when or where, you and I are going to see God work all the details of our lives out. Yes, we are with the mop, the bucket, the mess, and the fatigue of dealing with the flood, but it is almost over. God has allowed it all for a reason, to make all things new. 

So, come Spirit of the Living God and breathe upon me, upon my son, upon my children, my family, my friends. Breathe new life into our spirits, our homes, and our workplace. Breathe into our situations and make all things new. Breathe and lift us up. Let your glory fill our homes, our hearts, and bring the needed change. Bless us and lead us to be a blessing wherever we go, in Jesus Name, Amen.

FACT: "IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD"

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Most of you who read what I share know me through my blog, "From My Home to Yours".

This is one more page I jot my thoughts about my journey as the mom of a child with Type 1 Diabetes. Many people will disagree with my way of seeing things and that's so okay. You see, we all have our way of seeing, believing, and responding to what we embrace as "The Truth" for our lives.

For me, the fact I want to share has to do with the things I've noticed over and over that are so very hard for God. I've tried to see Him always as the God of the impossible, but these past few months, I've grown to see Him as the God who struggles and has a hard times with many things as well.

Go ahead and say what you will. You can't change my mind. I've decided that it's impossible for God when it comes to certain matters in my life and I won't bulge, not even a tiny bit.

It's impossible for God to abandon me.

It's impossible for God to leave you alone.

It's impossible for God to leave me hanging, making promises and then walk out on me.

It's impossible for God to go back on His word. If He said it, Hold on to it.

You might say, "Angie, you're delusional. Your son is not healed. There are prayers unanswered. Look at your own situation. Where's your answering God?" And I will smile, turn around to face you and say, "He has not left me in the pit to rot. He will not leave you either."

It's impossible for God to stop loving me.

It's impossible for God to stop 

loving my children, my parents, my family and friends.  

It's impossible for God to love only a few people and not love us.

God is love! Liquid Love. Real Love!

It's impossible for God to stop loving you. I believe until the very last breath in humanity, regardless if we accept Him and live for Him, or if we reject Him and hate Him, His love will still cry out to us, call out to us, and reach out to us, til the very end.

So, that's it. Fact: It's impossible for God to be anyone or anything less than what His own word declares Him to be or do. Number 23:19

Type 1 Diabetes, any other physical condition, any health condition and every mental health situation falls powerless in the presence of God's powerful love. He has promised to heal my son. It's in His Word. So, for now and always, I will declare, "It's impossible for God to be God in my life. It's impossible for God to stop being God in my home. It's impossible for God to mess up, fall down, quit on his promises and play mind games."

 Impossible.

Enjoy my other blog:
From My Home to Yours

IT'S NOT EASY

By Angeline M Duran Santiago

Today was one of those days where you find yourself pushing against the wall and not getting much further than your own reality. Today's journey took me through the motions with my feet, feeling heavy as if I dragged cement blocks inside my sneakers. By the time I was home, exhaustion overtook me emotionally and physically, and I didn't even have the desire to start dinner.

Yes, it was one of those days. Maybe you've had one? Maybe if you're like me, with one amazingly special child who just seems to get sick every now and then, then you just might know just how tired I am- yet I barely did anything at all.

It was the constant calling from the nurses office that started things off on a negative note. Don't get me wrong, call me a billion times if my child's health is a concern. It's just, well, I wonder how truly trained and able today's nurses are. It's like some don't know what to do and no matter how much information you share to help them make your child's day a smooth one, even on sick days, well, it's like they either don't want to be bothered or have discovered the best way to handle things is to say, "Come get your child." And I get it! I'm an educator, working with families and children all day. I know where it comes from. 

But, I also know that I look for solutions, for ways to help the child feel comfortable until parents come for them. I know parents can't always leave work to pick up their children and because I know my own situation, I try to help parents through these hard times. So, where is the help for my son? for me? 

I found myself on the train station, waiting and waiting, under the heavy rain and cold winds. My heart pounded and ached because I couldn't control how fast the train arrived while I waited, knowing my son was feeling miserable.

It's not enough to carry the burden of trying to rush to be with your child, it's how the parent is sometimes treated and spoken to when they arrive. There are those that think sharing some kind of threat makes you run any faster to the school. Where has the compassion and the professionalism gone? Where are the professionals that take their oaths and their careers seriously enough to make a difference in the lives of those they serve?

Instead of seeing the despair, the exhaustion, and the hassle some parents endure when they go to pick up their ill children from the school, the school staff and nurses become cold and see someone whom in their eyes is failing, doing a bad job, "How could you send your child to school feeling this way?" attitude. I want to shout and say, "Hey! Be quiet! This is not my life today, no, not just today or right now! This is my everyday, every moment, don't get a break from it life!" And yes, if I were to keep my son home every time he's not feeling well, I'd be a stay at home mom, homeschooling, and never able to work so that I could provide for my son's needs, which include more than clothing and food, but medical supplies and medication that is not cheap. So, yes, some of us don't have the luxury of being in the PTA or staying home.

My journey is not easy. I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. 
I'm frustrated how this world keeps changing its priorities.
This world's viewpoints keep focusing on the wrong things as their focal points in importance, and they push aside, even wagging their finger in disapproval, at the things that are good, worthy of imitating, and believing in.

Exhaustion claims me and the bed seems a lofty paradise of clouds, calling me away to blissful sleep. The truth is, my day is not done. I've been taking care of my son without a pause. I still have to make sure his blood glucose levels are well enough to let him sleep, give him Lantus, and maybe later on around 11 pm or midnight, check to see if he need Novolog. I'll try to sleep and then wake up to start all over again. I'll still go to work and do my best not to share what's going on because I don't want others to just hear about my struggles. People around me have their own journeys as well. We all find ourselves in some kind of hard time, battle, receiving end of bad news, or just going through the motions. So, I usually don't share, unless I'm really pressed to share.

My journey.
Your journey.
Sometimes we say, "Oh, this is how it is. This is how I feel."
Other times we just, "Shhh....." and wait on the Lord.
Regardless,
we're on this journey and it's up to us to find some joy and strength through each step.

Lord,
I pray for my son's health tonight. Fill him with your healing touch and restore life to those areas in his body that struggle to work as they should. Lord, my son needs you so much. You are able to do great things in his body as he sleeps. Lord, I pray not only for my son, but for others, parents and their children, who are passing through the valley, walking through the darkness, dragging themselves in the midst of their exhaustion to serve, to help, to do what they can- Strengthen them. Bless them with joy in the midst of their pain and troubles. Send rains of healing and restoration into the homes that so desperately need you. The children need you, Lord, but dear God, the parents that are their non-stop, Lord, they need you, too.

Prepare our feet and our hearts, our minds and our bodies,
for tomorrow's journey.....
In Jesus Name, I pray, Amen.