THE DARKER THE NIGHT

By Angeline M Duran Santiago


There is no cure for Type 1 Diabetes. God is able to heal. I believe it. God will strengthen us as we wait on him to provide a cure, or remove it by His power and grace, completely.

Tonight, as the past few nights, my daughter and I have watched my son continue to vomit and go through the motions of what doctors say is just a virus. I guess they're right, but I am bothered by the high sugars that just don't go down, even when I continue to monitor his numbers and provide the precise amount of insulin. 

 

Tonight, I am tired. I won't lie to you- I am frustrated, somewhat angry, and overwhelmed. Tomorrow, students take the NY State exams, and while some parents have already prepared their children with hugs, kisses, and sent them to sleep a little early, I am here waiting, and debating if I should return to the Emergency Room. The doctors last night said if he started to throw up again and the glucose rose again, most likely, if there was no change, I should think about returning him to the ER. So, what do I do, Lord?

Am I wrong to wait another half hour? Have I prayed and waited enough or is it I've resigned to just wait and see. I don't want to just sit on the sidelines and wait. I believe God has given us wisdom to make the right choice. But, Lord, I hate to see how he gets poked for blood and how they never find the vein. Six times they attempted to find the right vein. Three different nurses. Only twice did they succeed. He never complained. He just held his breath, took deep breaths and at times just laughed out loud saying, "Oh, my God."

The darker the night, the darker your moment,
The more God's Light and presence shines your way.

 I've wondered at times why God didn't create us so that we could take over the pain and the sickness our children carry. Lord, I'd gladly surrender every part of my being to carry every physical and emotional pain and burden for my children, but you didn't make it that way, did you? Here I am wishing I could take it all away and all I can do is pray, wait on You, Lord. 

Your Word says that if I wait upon you, my strength will be renewed. So, I wait for Jacob's physical strength to be renewed, that he may mount up on wings like the eagle and soar, be strong and be able to wake up feeling brand new.

The darker the night, the weaker my faith gets,
Your love is brighter, Your Light shines my way!

Your Word says to ask and I shall receive. I ask for You to come into my home, tonight, Lord, and lay your powerful hand, compassionate and merciful hand, hands of healing upon my son and remove every evidence of sickness and infection.

Your Word says that Jesus carried every infirmity, disease and all my burdens. I write and believe in my heart that YOU have carried every ache, every pain and discomfort, everything that doesn't belong in Jacob's body and that in Jesus Name, my son is recovering and receiving health.

Your Word says that if I cast my cares and burdens upon you, I shall have rest. I cast my son's worries, his physical problems, his burdens and mine, all into your huge, heavenly hands, because he needs rest, my daughter needs rest, and I need rest. Lord, no more breaking night for us. All we have, Lord, I place before you. Visit our home tonight.

The darker the night, the brighter your love,
The darker the night, the more I wait on You. 

As I share tonight, I wonder, and recognize, I am not the only parent with a sick child. I am most definitely not the only person with a burden, tired or watching their child push through. If you find yourself like me, all I can tell you is that you will have to make the decision to believe once more, or for the first time, that God can and will deliver your child and your family from this sickness. God can and He will make a way. His promises can be trusted for I have seen Him work in our lives so many times. Pray, cry out to the Lord, seek the promises in scriptures, and speak your heart out to the Lord. Cast all your cares, your anxiety, your worries and your heartache before his throne and expect deliverance, expect a change, and expect God to show up. 

I am waiting. I am believing. I am in expectation that the Lord will do mightily on behalf of my son. There is nothing else I can do. The doctors cannot do anything. There is no medicine for a virus. There is no pill to cure Diabetes. But, there is a God that says, even in the midst of this sickness, remember I created your child and I will make all things new. This is the hope I hold on to and I pray you don't despair or give up, trust Him.

 The darker the night, the more His Light shines.
You may be breaking one more night, but call out to the Lord. Yes, it is hard to be up at night when your body wants the pillows and your comfy bed. But, tonight, as dark as it seems here and where you are, God's Light shines brighter than the moon and the stars. His presence is brighter than that the lights left outside to light the sidewalks or the streets. The darker the night, the more I know God's blessings are on their way, greater and stronger than ever before.