Monday, September 30, 2013

Put It On Again

Perhaps I will sound contradictory as I share about the Insulin Pump. I guess it's a love-hate relationship in my hands. Regardless of how many times I want to see it in a negative light, I would still prefer the Insulin Pump to a hundred syringes and needles anytime.

My son's sugar levels have been crazy. I can share that I've had my first, and hopefully only and last episode with high blood sugar due to insulin that was no good. I realized it was cloudy the day after I placed it in his meter and the numbers continued to soar up and up. Suddenly, as I went to change the complete set, something in my heart just didn't feel right. I looked at the insulin and saw that it wasn't the regular clear, see through liquid. Wow, if I ever felt like a failure of like I needed a beat down, it was that night. I immediately opened a new box of insulin and redid it all. It took a while but the numbers began to go down slowly.

The other thing I get angry about with the pump is that sometimes, no, many times, I put it on a new site and it seems that it doesn't work. Ok, before you write to me and say, the site is overly used, we're talking about a child that has just begun to use it in certain areas of the body. So, I can tell you that it is very frustrating to have to take it out and try a new site. I know. I hate it, right?

Perhaps you too feel this way. Tired, exhausted, anxious and like you want to run outside, around the neighborhood a few times, until the anger dissipates, and then return inside your home and place the pump anew on your child. In other words, put it on again.

We all go through this not so happy dance. It's a ritual, not the kind performed by some native cultures, but it is like a sacrifice we don't want to perform. It is your child. Your child's body that you have to inject. It's not a nurse or a doctor poking your child, it's you, the parent, doing it over and over and over.

Put it on again. It comes out. Redo it. It isn't working, fix it and get it done. Then, go on with your day or go to sleep and then awake to see if it is working, It is part of what you and I will go through in this life with Type 1 Diabetes in our children. Be hopeful. Do not call it quits. The cure is near to us. Keep the faith. If you don't believe in faith or a God that can heal, then at least know that I, along with many more, will have enough faith to believe for you even when you don't. Do not give up.

When you need to, take a break. Please, take a break. Then, go back, and take care of your child. Put the pump back on or check their sugar. It's the daily do but we have to do it. Our children depend on our being able to put it on again and keep going. So, keep going, dear parent. Don't despair. When you need to, take time for a break, but then go back and take care of what has to be taken care of, and then take care of you.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013


It's back to school. Am I ready? I wish I were better prepared. My son is starting in a new school and I'm in a new job, so it's going to be really different this year. Are you ready? I guess today it really hit me. I don't know the school's nurse, the principal or any of the teachers. No one knows me or my son. In elementary school everyone knew our family. My son was like a local hero every staff member looked out for. I will miss them so much. There's a security blanket that's wrapped around us as parents when we know our children are safe and surrounded by loving professionals in a school setting. Lord, will I have this in the new school?

This will be my son's fifth year entering a school building with a lot more baggage than most students. He will be carrying lunch and snacks, medical supplies and insulin, either in his pump, bottle, or insulin pen. I am proud of my middle schooler. (wow, middle school already) He has proven to be such an inspiration to all of us. And, here I am. Countdown to first day has begun. I thought we'd do it together if you're a parent with a child who has Type 1 Diabetes also and is performing the final checks on the Mommy Check List. (Don't know if you really have one, but just in case, maybe that's the name.)

If you haven't done so already, things to do:

Set up appointment to meet with school nurse, all of the teachers that will work with your child, and school administration. Exchange phone numbers and if possible, emails, to help keep communication lines open. A child with diabetes is sometimes hospitalized a lot throughout the year unexpectedly. The school should provide, if parent requests, study packet and homework to keep child from falling behind in school. This was big for us these past two years.

I prepared this packet to give them with some information that will help remove any worries or fears, and answer concerns on how to best care for my child.

How to identify Sick Warning Signs: (Highs/Lows)
Low Blood Sugar
High Blood Sugar

What is Type 1 Diabetes?

Emergency Contact Information/Management Plan

Tips for Teachers/Buddy System Explain that your child should not go alone to nurse/bathroom, especially if feeling sick. This was something we learned the hard way when our child was first diagnosed. Buddy system was life saver.

Medical Forms

IEP Forms
504 Forms
Sample Form 
(This is my first time filling them out) Extra time during test if needed and will need to go to bathroom many times throughout the day

Prepare a large plastic baggy with extra supplies, including insulin to leave in the school nurse's office. Share your need to leave juice and other items to manage low blood sugars.

Share that you want your child treated fairly. Laws protect students with Type 1 Diabetes. Know them.

Web site with video and downloadable resources to be used to train school staff
Make all staff aware (nurse,office, custodians, school safety, assistant teachers, lunchroom staff) aware of your child's condition. Many times school staff think child is playing or joking around because they don't know child can be experiencing low blood sugars, a seizure, or is very sick. My youngest brother was in a coma after a seizure and I don't want anyone to ever go through that. He is well now, but it was scary.
Also, if your child goes on a trip, the school should provide nurse to go with your child. I learned this also the hard way, but now I know and share with you.

Physical Education teacher should know about your child. Juice and snacks should be allowed with child in gym in case sugars drop during activities.

Snacks/Meals in school

Your child's teacher needs to allow your child to check sugar in the classroom, especially if feeling sick. They can go to the back of the classroom.

Who is trained to administer GLUCAGON in your child's school? Talk to administration about finding out if anyone else can be trained to give insulin and glucagon if nurse is unavailable/present.

Two I am still working on:

New ID bracelet, necklace, or jewelry

Pump Support for waist/arm

Check out this: (very informative)
Back to School Webinar

#type1diabetes #jacobduran #diabetes #diabeticmanagement #backtoschool #childwithdiabetes #diabeticschoolplan #diabetesmedicalplan #diabetesmanagement

Parents Get Tired, Too

Today, I am restless. I'm tired and that's no lie.
To deny what I feel would be a lie I'd try to force feed myself and I don't even have the energy for that. 
Parents get tired, too.
No, wait. 
We know what it is to be overwhelmed, to feel like our most is never enough and to start and try to finish only to have to start again.
I long for the day to be over but there's still so much to be done.

It's easy to become discouraged when you deal with medication and medical equipment that sometimes have a mind of their own. Most days I go on like all is normal, and then other days the reminder that your child has Diabetes jumps at you, "Whoop! There it is!"
You feel like you have entered the ring, the bell has rung, BING! and the hits and punches keep coming but no one ever rings that darn bell ever again. It's like everything around you is waiting for you to give up, knock yourself out and stay down for the count, forever. The sugar is high, the sugar is low, roller coaster ride, forever on the go.

If you're a parent that has to put the insulin pump on your child, maybe you can identify with me at the moment. You place the pump into a new site on your child that should stay and hold for two to three days and then, just when you are ready to either nod off to dreamland (if there's such a place for moms) or step out the door to go to work, someone says, "Mom." and you find out the pump has come off. Or, "Mom, I think my sugar is low...." Running to get juice, check sugar, hurry....

I feel like Charlie Brown, Aauuuggghhhh! Frustrated and misunderstood because I either want to enjoy a few moments of rest, or really, really need to fly out that door. It's no one's fault. No one is to blame. Stuff happens and what can we do.

The truth is, as much as we want to step away, we can't. So, I get back up and do what I have to do because so far, George Jetson and all the robots in his world aren't going to show up anytime soon to help out. 

Dear friend, I know you too are tired and overwhelmed, but know that the Lord knows you are doing the best you can and He will never, ever leave you alone. Take it like I will do today, one step, not one day, I'll say, one step at a time. Go little by little. It will get done. Life will be there tomorrow with all the ups and downs again. So, take a deep breath. Put on some music and let's get that dinner done. 

#jacobduran #type1diabetes

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Giving Up

It's possible you may disagree.
From where I'm standing, I can say for sure, there are and will always come, days when you feel like giving up.
Like that's an option?

I can see you feel out of it. You're tired and unmotivated.
Your sugar levels have been up and down and you're just feeling so out of it, getting back in bed and pulling the covers over your head seems a lot better that getting up and opening the door that leads out to reality.

Sunny day or cloudy day doesn't matter much when you feel like hanging up the gloves and the fight to keep going seems loss. You don't want to hear advice, especially not from people who can't possibly know what you feel because they're not you.

You're the one that has to get pricked, punctured, checked, injected, made to bleed and monitor what you eat. 
Tired. Sick and tired of being tired.
No, wait...

There. You said it. Now you just want to be left alone.
But, if you know me, you know I can't walk away, at least not immediately without saying at least this...
I'm sorry you feel crummy.  I'm so sorry you are having such a bad day. I love you and really care. There are more people around you that love you. But, please,
Don't give up. Don't quit. Don't resign to what you believe is the end, because it is not.

Yes, you're tired and you're right. The constant needles and poking holes into your fingers and toes to check your sugar have become more than a nuisance. 
Through it all, through this pain and anger, you are still you, an amazing and wonderful you who has so much to share and give those around you.

You are life to those who know you.
You make us smile and laugh and feel thankful for you.
When you feel crappy, call one of us, talk to us or just tell us you need someone to just walk with you quietly. I can do that. I can just sit with you if that's what you need.
I'll be quiet. 

You can talk if you want to and I'll listen.
Maybe we can think of some jokes, well, I sort of suck at telling jokes, but maybe you can pretend to laugh at them. I just want to see you loving life the way I know you do.

You have your whole life before you and giving up is not an option for someone like you.
Sickness is just in the way sometimes but I know you will make it. I have always believed in you, so much.
Get up.
Let's go for a bike ride or just hang out in the park.
Come on.
Roller Skates, skateboard, jogging, whatever you want to do, let's do it.
At the end of it all, I just want to say, "Don't give up."
I will never give up on you. I know God has a great plan for your life. I will believe in healing for you and never quit.

Inspired by my son's comment, "Mom, I'm just tired of this. You don't understand.I know you love me but it's not you getting this." And he is absolutely right.

#jacobduran #jacobdiabetes #type1diabetes #diabetesmanagement #diabeticchild #insulin #diabeticdepression #diabeticliving #diabeticblog #diabetesblog #encouragement #diabeticcounseling #familycounseling