Monday, September 30, 2013

Put It On Again

Perhaps I will sound contradictory as I share about the Insulin Pump. I guess it's a love-hate relationship in my hands. Regardless of how many times I want to see it in a negative light, I would still prefer the Insulin Pump to a hundred syringes and needles anytime.

My son's sugar levels have been crazy. I can share that I've had my first, and hopefully only and last episode with high blood sugar due to insulin that was no good. I realized it was cloudy the day after I placed it in his meter and the numbers continued to soar up and up. Suddenly, as I went to change the complete set, something in my heart just didn't feel right. I looked at the insulin and saw that it wasn't the regular clear, see through liquid. Wow, if I ever felt like a failure of like I needed a beat down, it was that night. I immediately opened a new box of insulin and redid it all. It took a while but the numbers began to go down slowly.

The other thing I get angry about with the pump is that sometimes, no, many times, I put it on a new site and it seems that it doesn't work. Ok, before you write to me and say, the site is overly used, we're talking about a child that has just begun to use it in certain areas of the body. So, I can tell you that it is very frustrating to have to take it out and try a new site. I know. I hate it, right?

Perhaps you too feel this way. Tired, exhausted, anxious and like you want to run outside, around the neighborhood a few times, until the anger dissipates, and then return inside your home and place the pump anew on your child. In other words, put it on again.

We all go through this not so happy dance. It's a ritual, not the kind performed by some native cultures, but it is like a sacrifice we don't want to perform. It is your child. Your child's body that you have to inject. It's not a nurse or a doctor poking your child, it's you, the parent, doing it over and over and over.

Put it on again. It comes out. Redo it. It isn't working, fix it and get it done. Then, go on with your day or go to sleep and then awake to see if it is working, It is part of what you and I will go through in this life with Type 1 Diabetes in our children. Be hopeful. Do not call it quits. The cure is near to us. Keep the faith. If you don't believe in faith or a God that can heal, then at least know that I, along with many more, will have enough faith to believe for you even when you don't. Do not give up.

When you need to, take a break. Please, take a break. Then, go back, and take care of your child. Put the pump back on or check their sugar. It's the daily do but we have to do it. Our children depend on our being able to put it on again and keep going. So, keep going, dear parent. Don't despair. When you need to, take time for a break, but then go back and take care of what has to be taken care of, and then take care of you.

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