I not only take the time to write what's on my mind, I also take the time to read what other people have written. In reading what others share, I've come to read some of the most heartbreaking pieces. There are countless of things written about depression and many more on how people dealing with Type 1 Diabetes, and/or other sicknesses or physical conditions. My heart goes out to them because I have lived through many of the things they are living with daily, and even if I don't physically have those ailments, those I love and care for daily, are living with the reality of it all.
The one theme that seems to come out in most, if not all the writing, is how people and the young ones feel hopeless and abandoned. Their hearts share their pain, their burdens and their despair. You feel their anger, their cry and see their fists, closed and lifted up to heaven, blaming God.
Many times, I too, wondered where was my faith. I wanted to know why and how? I thought living right and doing right got me the good deal on life, but it's not that way. We live in a world that has lashed out against God and thus, has invited wickedness in as they pushed God out. We live in a contaminated planet that has carelessly dedicated itself to self destruction. It's not that God is powerless or doesn't care. Everything around us seems to be in self destruction mode and instead of seeking God's mercy, we become bitter. Instead of surrendering to His will and wait on His healing, we surrender to anger, to silence, to fading away in our pain.
You may feel abandoned in your depression and in your pain. You may feel abandoned each time you have to pierce your skin again and again to give yourself insulin. You may feel forsaken, each time you place that Asthma pump into your mouth and take deep breaths hoping your lungs accept the medication and open up your airways. You may feel forgotten and unloved, when sadness, loneliness and those dark moments cover you like a net and you can't break free.
My friend, I can tell you that in my discomfort, and through what I see daily, I refuse to believe God has abandoned me. I refuse to believe my son and my brothers, or anyone in my family that is sick, has been abandoned, forsaken and forgotten.
My son, in Jesus name, is part of God's healing plan. My brothers, my nephew, my mom, my daughter, my friends, you, you and you, we are all in the heart of God to receive our healing! I am looking into scriptures that remind me of God's promises. I'm learning to pray more and believe that what we bind on earth is bound in heaven and what we loosen on earth is loosed in heaven. I am learning to proclaim, "By His Stripes we were healed!" I am holding on to everything in the Bible about healing as true and real for my son and everyone connected to me.