Now, here I was, wanting to go out for some shopping and didn't want to depend on having to give him coverage each time he ate something. I just feel so much secure and at peace when the pump is covering him. It's like a huge powerful umbrella on a very rainy day. The pump is like that wonderful blanket you can't get rid of during the cold, winter days. No matter how old that blanket is, it is the warmest and your favorite. It's dependable. And, that's how the pump makes me feel. My son is being taken care of.
As a parent we need to have a back up plan for emergencies. I began to brainstorm ways to convince my son to let me put the pump back on. I tried the whole health reasons, "WHAM" out the door. That didn't work. I tried the whole "You'll feel better throughout the day" reason, "BOOM". That didn't work either. So what was I to do. I left him alone. Sometimes we forget, he's still a child. He just a kid wanting to be a regular kid without these daily worries.
I decided to leave him alone for a while. And then, the idea came as I observed him. He was being a kid. He was playing. That's what my heart said to follow. "Become a kid with him." Our family took turns playing with him and killing the zombies. We celebrate his victories to the next level and even yelled when he was getting ready to die, "Watch out!"
I made lunch and we continued to enjoy each other's company. Then, I announced we had to go out and it couldn't wait any longer. "Man we were having such fun!" I remarked, "Oh by the way, let me put this on you real quick." Jacob looked at me with sadness and I said, "I know it hurts. I wish I never had to do this. But, I promise, we'll play again later."
Strong arms raised and wrapped themselves around my neck, hugging me tightly and saying, "Mami, I love you." It is this love that melts my heart each day and this love that keeps me going. My son allowed me to placed the new site on his shoulder. As we left the apartment, he stood next to me, placed his beautiful, long hair covered face on my shoulder and said, "Mom, I love you!"
Dear Mom and Dad of a child who has Type 1 Diabetes or any other sickness or disability, I know your struggles are not easy. I know that many times you wish you could carry the burden for your child and take away all their pain. But you can do it. When you feel like you're losing control over a situation, don't fight it.
Don't take their confrontation personally. Become a child. Enter their world and enjoy time with your child. In that moment, they just need you to be there. And, I promise, the Lord will make a way for the struggle to turn into a loving moment. God bless you and keep you today and always. Receive strong hugs from our Heavenly Father in this day to continue being the wonderful parent you are!