July 15, 2013
Hi! For those who don't know me, I'm Angie. I sit here tonight realizing it will soon be seven years since I had to slowly digest the news that my son had Type 1 Diabetes. I have forgotten many things, but those months I remember well. The torment, the guilt, the challenges as a working mom, questioning my faith, and so much all at once was beyond overwhelming. I want to talk about this journey with my son and what a better place to share than here? There are so many topics I want to discuss and research but these, for now, will be my focus.
Tonight I am here thinking about my son and what an amazing kid he is. He had a very rough year. It affected him in so many ways, especially school. Attendance is a big deal and there's no reward for passing the year when you've spent half of it in the hospital or the doctor's office.
I am proud of my son. I really am. He passed with excellent marks and received awards, no, not attendance, (maybe one for lack of) but he made it through one more year. Now, he's getting ready for middle school. Lord, help us.
#2 Checking Sugars and Giving Insulin
Although my heart breaks each time I have to puncture his precious skin to give him insulin or check his blood sugars, I've not been asked if I would like to do this. I have no choice if I'm to push my son into a successful, active and productive life.
#3 Discover/Cook New Meals
I have tried so many times to change how I cook, create new or try new recipes. It hasn't been easy. I can tell you, as a female raised by a Puerto Rican mom, most of what I learned to prepare as a meal is very high in carbohydrates. So, part of the problem is I still struggle with meals. That is something I hope to tackle in this journey. Better, healthier meals for the whole family.
#4 Faith in the Midst of Sickness
At first, when my son was first diagnosed, it was hard. I really spoke to God and refused to believe He could allow this in my son. I had seen the effects on others and had an idea what life would be like if the doctor's prognosis was correct. I was angry, hurt, and mostly in shock.
Lord, I prayed, let it be me with this sickness, not my baby who was only four years old at the time. Lord, take it away and out of his body and place it in me. But, God was silent.
I wanted to yell out at God because I felt he had failed me. Then I quickly realized that was the wrong attitude. God had not stopped loving me or my son. God was not a Greek god picking on my family. He had not made my son sick. I prayed for strength and wisdom and more than anything else, the courage to inject my baby. I can't wait to share what I've learned.
#5 Parents Taking Charge
I slapped myself awake and spoke boldly to my pity party moment reminding myself my son needed me and I didn't have time to question God or the world so full of sickness and contamination. As his parent, my role is to be ready for action. I can't be afraid or a silly person who is going to faint at the sight of blood. I realize my hardships as a child, watching and taking care of my brothers were all with purpose. I didn't have time to say, "Oh poor me", I had to get up and learn what had to be learned and fight for my son's health by being steady, dependable, and aware of what had to be done.
#6 Highs and Lows Sometimes all over the Place
There will be more issues added later, but for now, the last issue I would like to research and discuss in this journey is how crazy my son's sugars can be, no matter how on top of things I remain. Even exercising, they soar or he'll be home watching a video and suddenly a low. The weather affects him, food and life in general. How do I provide what my son needs? I'll be researching and discussing it.
I will work on talking to other parents and athletes that have type 1 diabetes and I hope to learn from them. I want to know how they get ready before a game. How do they handle drills, running and practicing for long period of time. I will share what I learn because our children are amazing and they can do anything and everything they put their minds to.
#8Lastly, Venting and Sharing
This is my place to write the way I want to and need to. It is not a place to argue about anything. I am still learning about Type 1 Diabetes and I'm sure there are parents out there doing a much better job with their child that I. I'm not here to criticize your parenting, but to encourage you. I don't want to belittle your experience, but join you in learning. I want to partner with you so that together we can focus on raising strong, healthy, independent, courageous, ambitious and ready leaders in our world. We can do it. I believe it. I know you do, too. So, I hope you will join me in this journey. Some days I'll write a lot, other days, maybe not so much. But, I hope you will be open to receive from my heart to yours and that we can succeed as parents of some truly awesome kids!
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